It’s Who You Know, & How to Fix That
Here’s an opinion that goes against the common colloquialisms of life and business. It has been my repeated experience that:
It is not what you know, it is who you know.
Kinda sucks, doesn’t it? Let’s just back up a second.
I am not going to write you a novel trying to convince you this is true. I’ll give you one example and challenge you to think for yourself: Has there been circumstances in your life, or in the lives of people you know, that their success was based more on opportunity than sheer skill?
I’m going to bet yes. Here’s one of my examples:
My dad (true story) once made a serious go at being a real estate agent in our small town. My dad was born and raised in New Jersey, and only moved to Canada when he’d met my mom + got married. He didn’t grow up in the small town he raised me in. More importantly, outside of church, he didn’t know a ton of people from the community; or rather, people from the community didn’t know about him.
He fought for two years(ish?) as a realtor and eventually threw in the towel. Despite being promised tons of referral work from a local agent who was “going to be retiring” from selling homes (she didn’t), my dad ultimately had very little success partially due to unpredictable circumstance, but also because there were countless other agents out there who members of the community would hire before hiring my dad.
Maybe I’m getting a few of the details wrong, but the moral of the story here is the same:
My dad didn’t succeed at becoming a realtor largely because he didn’t know the right people.
It would’ve been nice to know people who were going to sell their homes immediately (he knew a few, and they all collapsed for one reason or another). He also didn’t know people who would refer him that business.
You see: my dad lacked none of the knowledge. He knew the process inside and out. He was one of the 10% of people that start and actually complete the licensing to become a realtor. He studied his tail off to pass the exams. He did it.
But all the knowledge in the world couldn’t make up for not having the right connections.
If this is you—the person who has all the knowledge, all the ability, but none of the recurring success—know that you’re not alone. Your time is coming. Here’s how you can hurry it along.
9 Ways to Meet the Right People:
Do work for free. Yep. I don’t care about any angry emails that might tell me I’m devaluing your industry. If you have no relationships, you need to start building them. Stop investing in the art or fun side of your craft, and invest in the doing of your chosen skillset. The money will come (and it’s not the most important part).
Share that work at every opportunity. Don’t care if you’re not comfortable selling yourself. Get comfortable. If you’re going to be doing whatever you’re doing for the long haul, you need to become more confident about everything. Social media, yes, but a website and also word of mouth.
Say yes to every opportunity, big or small. Especially in the beginning, your opportunities will be small. Get over it: you’re at the bottom of the food chain. Everything is a learning experience if you make it so.
Go through your phone contacts—right now—and message anyone who might have a lead for you. I’m not joking. “Hey ____! Hope you’re doing well! How’s your family? Messaging you because I just got into ______ and I’m looking to do some heavily discounted work in the near future. Do you know anyone that could use my services? Thanks so much! Anything helps.” Repeat with your Facebook friends list.
Think of the food chain. Ok, what I mean is: before people hire you, where do they go first? If you’re a plumber, they probably go to Google, and therefore a website is important. If you’re a mortgage broker, people probably talk to realtors first, so you should be schmoozing them. If you’re a freelance architect, you should be building relationships with high-end home builders. You get the idea. Trace back your clients’ buying path, and make friends with the people who can funnel work to you.
Never burn a bridge. This is a little more of a “later” step than an immediate one, but guarantee that every client interaction now always ends on a high note. Surprise your clients with a little extra than what they paid for. Speak highly of them at cocktail parties and online. Rate their businesses online (5 stars, always). Share their social posts. You never know when a connection is going to circle back around and benefit you.
Get social on social media. I don’t mean “post more about yourself”; I mean “interact with people on their posts.” Leave intentional, meaningful comments. Share posts. Tag friends. Start conversations. Respond to DMs. Share more of your life (personal and work) online. Just get more involved online. For best results, combine with #5.
Take a shot in the dark. Know someone whose connections might really benefit you? Think of how you can benefit them first (from whatever talents or position you hold), and reach out with an original, interesting offer for them. The worst they can say is “no”. You have no idea what might happen. What have you got to lose? Just remember, all exchanges should be mutual. You might not be able to offer them money (especially if you’re asking for them to send it to you), but find other ways to benefit them with what you can offer.
Headhunt your clients by doing free work for them unsolicited. But then, leave the ball in their court, and move on if they show no interest. Don’t be that creepy, stalker-y business person. If you’re a realtor trying to attract a certain client, do a competitive analysis on their neighbourhood, send it along in a DM, and move on. If they respond: amazing! If they don’t, you lost little more than your time. If you’re clever and careful about how you do this, this can be a really effective technique. Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll be bad-mouthed all over town and very much have shot yourself in the foot.
Making the right connections when you know no one is not impossible. These 9 tips ought to get you started.
